Thinking about Leaving?

Offense is never the right reason to leave a church. Leaving a church with offense in your heart is dangerous to your soul. Work it out. That’s the tough side of community that we don’t talk nearly enough about. Often times, it’s through the working out of hurt, pain, or offense that we become more closely connected in our communities. It grows and matures us.

Don’t just disappear. People do this all the time. POOF! They’re gone! (And often times they get offended when the church they left doesn’t desperately chase after them when they’re gone.) Look, if God is behind your decision, then trust that He will give you the courage and strength to have the (yes, somewhat uncomfortable) conversations needed to do it well. Finish your commitments. Connect with your leader through the process. Ask them to pray with you about what you’re feeling. Give God an opportunity to make it seem right with them too.

Don’t look for reasons to leave. If you are….trust me, you’ll find plenty of them! If God is calling you to leave, you don’t have to wait until you find a tangible reason to do so. Sitting around waiting for a “reason” can turn you into a nasty, judgmental, and negative person. It’ll hurt your soul and probably others too. In fact, if you’re walking around looking for reasons to leave, then I’d suggest looking at the inwardly condition of your heart and soul.

Don’t be negative. I hate hearing people talk negatively about the church or pastor they just left. Chances are, those same people will be standing in front of my pastor friend down the street saying the same thing about me in a matter of months. If you feel like you need to talk negatively about the pastor or church you’re leaving, chances are……you are the one who needs to change first.

Show Gratitude. Take time to say ‘thank you’ to the pastor and leadership of the church you’re leaving. If you stayed too long and are offended, that’s your fault – not theirs. When someone takes the time to send me an email or letter saying ‘thank you’ for pouring into their lives as they transition to a different church, that’s huge! I have a ton of respect for people who do that.

HOW you do things is just as important (if not even more important) as WHAT you do.

Peter and Andrew Argue Over the Woman Caught in Adultery...

One day as Jesus was teaching, a group of religious men dragged a woman through the crowd and flung her to the ground at his feet.

One of them said, “Master, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The Law of Moses says she should be stoned. What do you say?”

Jesus didn’t answer, but began writing with his finger in the dust at his feet.

After a few moments, the crowd of men clamored for an answer. So Jesus straightened, looked the spokesman in the eye, and said, “Let the one who is without sin among you throw the first stone.”

At that, he leaned forward and continued writing in the dirt.

Soon, several of the older men in the crowd turned and left. Then a few more, until the entire group of religious men had dispersed and left the woman alone in front of Jesus.

He stopped writing in the dust, and straightened. He looked at her. “Woman, where are your accusers? Does no one condemn you?”

“No one, Lord,” she said.

“Neither do I condemn you,” he said. “Go, and sin no more.”

When the woman had left, Jesus continued teaching. But Andrew pulled Peter aside. “Did you see that?”
“You bet I did,” Peter said.

“Wasn’t it great?”

“That’s not how I would describe it.”

“Why not?” Andrew asked.

“He just let her go.”

“I know. Such grace!”

“But don’t you see what people will think?”

“No,” Andrew said.

“They’ll think Jesus endorses adultery.”

“No way.”

“What else can they think? He didn’t say one word about adultery being wrong.”

“He didn’t have to. Moses made that clear.”

“But he didn't take a stand against her behavior,” Peter said.

“He just refused to condemn her. He showed her grace.”

“Exactly! Without a word of confession or repentance from her. He just let her off the hook.”

“But it’s the kindness of God that leads to repentance,” Andrew said.

“She doesn’t deserve his kindness, unless she confesses and repents beforehand.”

“If she deserves it, it’s not grace. Grace is for the guilty, not the righteous.”

Peter shook his head. “You’re wrong. People are going to think Jesus is soft on sin.”

“He told her to ‘Go and sin no more.’”

“And then he just let her go. Who’s going to make sure she doesn’t sin?”

Andrew’s face showed his confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“There has to be follow-up. He can’t just let her go as if she did nothing wrong.”

“He didn’t,” Andrew said. “She’s an adult. She’s responsible for her own actions.”

“That’s exactly my point! If Jesus keeps treating people this way, they’ll do whatever they want.”

“And that’s exactly MY point: they’ll WANT to follow him, and please him, because of his love and kindness…and grace.”

“But you have to take a long view,” Peter said. “I’m concerned for the reputation of the church.”

“I am, too,” Andrew answered. “And I think Jesus is, too.”

“People will say we excuse sin.”

“Or they might say Jesus forgives sin. And heals sinners.”

“You just don’t understand,” Peter said.

“I guess,” Andrew admitted.

Bad culture eats good vision...

This phrase helps shape my thoughts as a leader…

Bad culture eats good vision…
You can have the greatest vision…

You can have an incredible plan…

You can be cleverly strategic…

You can have the best of intentions…

But…

Bad culture eats good vision…
Every time….

Display seeds of dishonesty…

Spread some gossip…

Throw a little laziness in the equation…

Embrace complacency…

Have a controlling leader…

Let momentum dwindle…

Resist change…

Name the bad culture…

It will eat a hearty meal on your vision…

You know why?

Because…

Bad culture eats good vision…
It almost seems to make culture as important as vision…

Moral of this story: Always build and maintain a healthy church culture so you can protect your vision…